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My Postpartum Story: One Year Ago Today

onyear-mainA year ago, I was discharged from the hospital with nearly 20 stitches and I was still bleeding from my wound. I had lost over 500ml of blood and continued to bleed for another four weeks. My condition caused me to have hot flashes and night sweats. I had trouble sleeping, I lost a lot of hair. As my swollen organs healed, they shrank back down about 2,000% to their original size.

I also lost weight. A lot of weight. More than 24 pounds in just 2 weeks. While weight loss sounds great in theory, I assure you it wasn’t in reality. My body was loose and weak – it just left me with a saggy, empty feeling.

I got dizzy when I stood up too fast. My back always hurt and my abdominal muscles were shot, so I had to use my arms to haul myself up from a lying or sitting position.

During the first 6 months of this postpartum recovery, I also caught a few colds. And every time I coughed, I peed myself because my pelvic floor muscles were shot, too.

My body itched, my face broke out, and some parts of my skin were raw and cracked. I was constantly thirsty as my body tried to keep up producing.

I was constantly in pain, which affected my mood and at times bordered on depression. I had a short temper and difficulty connecting with my loved ones. In the early days, I couldn’t see past the pain. Most days, I just didn’t see the light at the end of this long and arduous healing journey.

I sought the advice of my doctor, pleading, “This can’t be normal. I think there’s something wrong with me.” She tried to reassure me that everything I was experiencing was typical and would “resolve itself.” And I kept asking myself, “Why wasn’t I warned about this?”

When people complimented me on how great I looked and how much weight I had lost, and I would stare back at them with a strained smile, offer a polite thank you, and think to myself, “If you only knew.”

As months went by, it began to get better. I got stronger and my wounds healed. Some were still visible; some only I could sense. But my condition had forever changed my body. It felt different now – not bad, just different.

And today, one year later, I have actually gained a great appreciation for my body and its capabilities. Before these scars, I was a different person. There are scars, they are an emblem of what has shaped me into who I am today. Strong. Resilient. A mother.

This is postpartum.

About Mama Strut

Mama Strut is devoted to revolutionizing postpartum healthcare and ensuring that all mamas are supported during the crucial 4th trimester. Our knowledge center is the hub for resources during postpartum and maternity. We're wishing you happy, healthy delivery and postpartum journey!

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About The Author

CEO and founder of Mama Strut, Jill is heavily invested in changing the postpartum healthcare landscape and providing a new standard of care for postpartum women.

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